What Has Been Going OnI never seem to have enough time, and this week that seems to be moreso than ever. Get up, drink coffee, get ready for work, go to work, work, come home, eat dinner, make a phone call, clean up, take a shower, and it's 9 PM. Since I try to (and need to) go to bed around 10 - 10:30 PM, 9 PM is already getting pretty late. And I haven't even started this week's homework assignment. This week got off to a messed up start partially because when I got back from class last Saturday, there was a message on my voice mail from a friend telling me she was in the looney bin. Forgive me for using that term, but my ex-husband is a schizophrenic and after having lived through the hell of his psychosis, I feel I've earned the right to use the term looney bin. The "looney bin" that she's at is one of the best, if you're going to be in a place like that. My ex-husband has been there a number of times, and I've visited him there.Anyway, my friend asked me to call her so I did. She told me she tried to kill herself by overdosing. She lives alone, but I guess her kids were afraid something was up and one them ended up going to her apartment and found her. She's suffered from depression a lot during the time I've known her, but she's never been suicidal before so it was quite a shock to hear. I visited her on Sunday She's being released tomorrow and is going to participate in an out patient program that meets three days a week. I'm feeling fairly confident she's going to be all right, but she's scared about being alone and being back in her apartment which is in a very urban and not great neighborhood.From a self-centered viewpoint, her situation really puts mine in perspective. Yes, I've been pretty depressed and negative lately and said things in my head like "maybe I should kill myself" but no way did I mean it. I realize I should just quit saying that kind of shit to myself because it's not healthy and it's not true, and I should be glad it's not.Even before knowing what was going on with my friend, I had scheduled a phone session with psychic-counselor-healing practitioner late Sunday afternoon. Now I know some of you may be skeptical about that sort of thing, but I've spoken with this person before, and she's very insightful and she gives good practical advice. So, I'm going to get plants for my cubicle at work, I may go back on antidepressants (I went off them in mid December) or try Sam-E, a natural alternative she recommends, try to exercise more, and I may continue my Slow Path to Success method of grad school instead of stepping up the pace next fall because, as she said, I need a lot of down time. Now I know this, but it helped hearing her say it as just as a fact about me because I start to think that maybe I'm lazy because other people in the program work full time and take two classes at a time. But hey, maybe that pace is not for me, and that's all right.In fact, lack of down time is what got me into the sitaution I'm in now: Wednesday night with no homework done and it's almost bedtime. I left a lot of chores for Sunday and then combined with visiting my friend, the week took off running and here I am now feeling as if I can barely keep up.Labels: friends, life at home, school, the blues posted by Miss Rachel 2/28/2007 09:16:00 PM . . .
Labels: friends, life at home, school, the blues
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