The Underminer

Yesterday I realized I had forgotten my yogurt so when GG and another coworker, K asked if I wanted to go to the cafeteria with them I said yes. We talked about various things, and on the way back I got to talking about school and mentioned that I was taking a class this summer, and K asked me what it was. I said I didn't know much about it, but it was about the role of research in the field. As we got off the elevator, GG, who had been silent up to this point, said, "Well it sounds as if you've got a really boring summer ahead of you." I was stunned and hurt so I just didn't look at him or say anything and headed back to my desk. He started to say something to the effect that he meant that to him it sounded boring and that a course about something-or-other would be interesting, but I just kept walking away.

So I sat down at my desk feeling kind of bad, and I started to doubt myself. Maybe I had talked too much? But, no K has often asked me about school, and she had actually asked me about the course. Then I started to feel as if I wanted to defend librarianship and explain how it was a really interesting profession and that GG and other people just don't understand it because they are jumping to conclusions from some outdated, negative stereotypes about librarians. Then I stopped myself, and just realized that I had had an encounter with The Underminer.*

No, he's not nearly as bad as the person in the story, but what he said was just plain mean. Later there was a quick department meeting when our new department manager was announced. GG sat down next to me, and after the meeting he said, "Three more weeks; just three more weeks till my vacation. I have to go shopping for some things for my trip..." Then I realized that he probably had wanted to talk about his vacation when we went to the cafeteria, but instead we talked about my school which wasn't of interest to him. So, he tried to undermine me.

So yeah, what he said hurt my feelings. I think he realized that what he said bothered me, but he's not the type of person to acknowledge that and say he's sorry, and I don't want to make myself vulnerable by saying anything so I'm just going to let it go, and realize that he's not always a Friend. When I talked to the psychic counselor a few weeks ago, she said I seemed to isolate myself at work. I knew this was true, and I thought I might have to defend my stance, but she said that there were a lot of negative people around me so it wasn't bad that I isolated myself.

*see Act 3

Labels: friends, library science, school

posted by Miss Rachel 4/03/2007 06:53:00 PM

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