Yea - 5 pounds gone! It's taken me more than 2 months, but it's finally something significant. (FYI, 150 is not my ultimate goal, but it's a good short term one.) I think the one thing, other than eating of course, that has helped is running on the treadmill. Yesterday I did a total of seven minutes of running - one interval of three minutes and two intervals of two minutes. As I said before, my goal is to eventually run for 10 minutes straight, but I think even these brief intervals of running are helping me to lose weight, and that's a good thing.

I'm kind of not really caring that much about weight lost right now though. I'm preoccupied because a lump has been found in my mom's breast and apparently, further testing has determined that it's not good and has to come out. It was found during a mamogram so I'm thinking it's "early detection" and that will be good, right? Still, cancer is scary.

I am heading up to Rockport today to visit, and although I'll be glad to see my mom, I'm conflicted about seeing my sister. I'm still feeling angry at her because of what she said the last time I saw her, and in some ways, dreading what annoying / rude things she is going to say to me this time. I need to let go of my anger, but I'm not doing a good job of it. For instance, I was really rude to her on the phone yesterday.

She called me and told me about the finding about my mom's lump (I already knew she had a lump, just not the results) and I said, "I wish you wouldn't call me about stuff like this at work." And she said she thought she was doing a good thing, and that I should call my mom. There was no reason for my sister to call and tell me and get me upset at work (!!!). I mean, I'm going to see my mom today and if she hasn't called me then she's waiting to see me and talk to me in person. FYI, I did call my mom right after talking to my sister, and she seemed as fine as she could be in this situation.

Of course, I'm much angrier about this than normal because I'm already mad at my sister. And now that I was rude to my her, she's probably hurt and I feel guilty. I don't like confrontation, butI tried to tell her how her comment made me feel, and she still wouldn't acknowledge it. Our family sucks at confrontation. My parents were never good at dealing with things head on and this is the behavior we learned. I have made a concerted effort to try to say things right out, but on this issue with my sister I didn't think I'd get a satisfactory outcome so I was hesitant. But I did it so I think that's all I can do as far as she's concerned. I don't think we're going to really resolve this issue between us so I need to let go of my anger and move on.

Labels: family, fat, physical fitness

posted by Miss Rachel 5/26/2007 06:40:00 AM

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