Labels: school, work

posted by Miss Rachel 4/08/2008 09:18:00 PM

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Saturday Morning Update

Labels: Blue, work

posted by Miss Rachel 3/29/2008 08:13:00 AM

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Video Update

Labels: family, fat, technology, watching, work

posted by Miss Rachel 3/21/2008 05:34:00 PM

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Thursday Night Update

Labels: friends, school, work

posted by Miss Rachel 3/07/2008 06:25:00 AM

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Labels: anxiety, school, winter, work

posted by Miss Rachel 2/22/2008 10:12:00 PM

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One Long Freakin' Week

Boy, am I glad it's Friday. This week, I've had long days at work, problems with over-eating and a steadily growing "wall' of stress about an (internal) job I applied for. Today I found out I didn't get the job. Of course, rejection sucks, and this rejection is really making me feel like a loser. I mean, the last three times I've applied for jobs, I haven't gotten them. Of course, all three times, I was definitely in the running and got "encouraging rejections" where the rejector says something like "I hope you apply again the next time one of these jobs is available." Yeah, that way I can pile another rejection on my self esteem. Seriously, though, I know I'll survive.

Strangely enough, getting the bad news about the job didn't make my day into a total failure. I had plenty of work to keep me busy and the stress of not knowing about the job was worse than the bad news so I felt calmer once I got over the initial disappointment. I didn't feel like overeating or eating junk, and I went to the gym and had a kick-ass workout. I did 30 minutes of cardio which included 3 3-minute intervals of running. Usually, I do 2-minute intervals. During the third interval I thought of stopping at 2 minutes, but I managed to keep going, and I felt pretty good about that. And the endorphins or whatever must have kicked in because I started feeling happier.

So by the end of the workday (which ended after 6) I actually felt pretty good. I called Sweetie from work and told him to place our usual order at the Asian fusion restaurant we order from every Friday night, and I said that I'd pick it up and bring it home. My drive home playlist included the following: Catch the Wind by Donovan, Ride the Wind by The Youngbloods, Draft Dodger Rag by Phil Ochs, Rubylove by Cat Stevens, Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival, Lay Down (Candles in the Rain) by Melanie, For the Roses by Joni Mitchell, Crystal Blue Persuasion by Tommy James and the Shondells, and Can't Find My Way Home by Blind Faith.

Labels: listening, physical fitness, the blues, work

posted by Miss Rachel 2/08/2008 09:28:00 PM

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Labels: life, work

posted by Miss Rachel 1/31/2008 10:53:00 PM

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Labels: physical fitness, politics, school, work

posted by Miss Rachel 1/07/2008 09:46:00 PM

. . .

I have to admit that I lied, unwittingly, about failing the technology test. The only way I can figure out what happened is that my teacher graded me with consideration for my lack of experience with the subject matter. Because he gave me a B-. Yup. I was totally shocked. I didn't even look at the grade until I had left the classroom, and when I saw the B- I checked to make sure it was my test I was looking at. So, I have to apologize for insisting I failed the test because I didn't. I really really thought I did though. So Savy; you were right; I'm sorry I insisted otherwise. And thanks.

Last week was a difficult one for me. I was worried about the test, there's a negative vibe at work, and then I read various blog posts about the dearth of librarian jobs available. That last bit of news nearly killed me. My supposed ticket out, the thousands of dollars I'm spending, the anxiety and hard work all for naught. I was in a bad place emotionally. I ended up posting about the blogs on our class's Curr3nt Aw@reness forum. I got some good responses. One guy said we're always hearing messages about one job shortage or another, and it always changes so the best thing to do is focus on what you like to do and by doing that, you'll do your best work. Another said that it might be true that actual librarian jobs aren't so plentiful, but that the degree can be used in other ways. He also encouraged me to stay away from those blogs and their negativity. Good stuff.

So I'm feeling better so far this week. The negative vibe didn't seem to be there at work today. Of course, I didn't get into any long conversations with BB today. I like him, but he sure can bring the clouds, even though he says he just wants me to be aware of stuff. I don't know though; we'll see. And yes, I still am going for that other job, but the posting doesn't close till November 30 so it's going to be a while.

One final thing, the next technology assignment is a tutorial, and mine is on Skype. Anyone out there tried it? If so, what do you think? I've tried it a few times on Sweetie's Macbook (which I'm using right now as a matter of fact), and I think it's pretty cool. I would be love to hear others' opinions of it.

Labels: library science, school, technology, the blues, work

posted by Miss Rachel 11/19/2007 09:12:00 PM

. . .

I talked to my old boss (let's call him BB for his initials from now on) again on Friday and after telling him I was mad at him, he said he just wanted me to know what was going on so I wouldn't be blindsided by my new boss. And I think he means it. And if what he's saying is true, and I have no reason to believe it isn't, she's dangerous.

And then I suggested meeting with the department manager (essentially my boss's boss), who took over a few months ago. BB thought meeting with her was a good idea. He proofread the e-mail I wrote her about discussing my career plans and goals. And now I have an appoinment with her on Wednesday. For all I know, my new boss could be giving her a negative perspective on me so I'm going to meet with her and show her how fabulous I am. I know I make a good impression in interviews and one-on-ones so I'm confident about this.

I also took another step to save myself and met with an upper level bus!n3ss An@Iyst who I know at work and asked her if she would be a reference for me on the new job I applied for. She was there when I gave a demonstration to a bunch of IT people about the mechanics of my job. And since communicating and working with IT is some of what the position entails, and she thought the demonstration went really well, I thought she'd be a good person to speak up for me. And she was really enthusiastic and said she would.

So had all this shit on my mind, but I continued to study, and ended up actually feeling pretty decent going into the technology test. Which I'm pretty sure I failed. Seriously. I will be relieved to get a D, but an F is pretty likely. If the test just required identifying stuff and giving some explanations of how things worked, it would have been all right. But the main part of the test were questions which required you to apply knowledge and "be" technical, not just know what stuff is and how it works. And I'm just not there yet, and more studying would not have gotten me there. Well, maybe on a couple of questions it would have, but not most of them.

After the test was over, one of the people I'm friendly with said, "I think I failed it" and I said I thought I failed it too. After class, she and the others who I consider "my girls" walked back to our cars together. Unfortunately, our professor ended up walking with us so we couldn't really talk. Me and the other person who said she failed walked ahead a bit, and talked. She said there was something she couldn't really say right then (because our professor was right behind us talking with the other two girls) and I asked her to e-mail me. Then she said sometimes she thought of dropping out of the program. And I said things at work really sucked right now and I feel that this program is my ticket out. And then I even cried a little. She apologized for "making me cry" but I said it wasn't her fault. She said she'd send me an e-mail.

Labels: school, the blues, work

posted by Miss Rachel 11/11/2007 08:20:00 AM

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I Don't Need or Want to Know This

My old boss (my bosses change a lot; I now have two "old bosses" in the last year), who I now consider a friend, told me all this stuff about my new boss, like how she's turned into snake and has made him look bad. And he also "warned" me that she told him she was mad at me for not stepping in to stay late now that we've lost the late person on the team. He also told me that she's changing the job responsibilities and that our little department is going to have annual premium goals and blah blah blah...

Man, I know you said you wanted me to know ahead of time, but I don't NEED or WANT to know this stuff. I'll let my new boss tell me. Knowing she may be a snake and may be mad at me did nothing for me but ruin my day in what is already a stressful week because of my technology test. I'm gonna tell old boss this too; I don't want to hear this shit. I'm sick of the negative crap. Oh yeah, his information did do one good thing for me: it got me to apply for another job at the company, that of Bus!n3ss An@Iyst. Seems like a good position even related to my field. We'll see...

In other news, I'm still working out: did weights on Tuesday and cardio yesterday. Weight is at 151, but I'm not sweating it since I seem to be having a little "digestive" trouble. With a work day like yesterday, digestive trouble is no surprise.

Labels: physical fitness, work

posted by Miss Rachel 11/08/2007 06:46:00 AM

. . .

Paper paralysis continues, but yesterday my research partner and I talked on the phone and she e-mailed me what she called a REALLY rough draft, and I feel better. I am actually thrilled with the rough draft because it gives me something to work with. Tonight and tomorrow I'm going to edit and organize and add to it, and hopefully, get something decent out of it. We're also presenting our findings to the class and since she has clearly done the bulk of the work on the paper so far, I want to do the bulk of the work on the presentation, and create some Power Points. Also, do most of the talking since she hates talking in front of groups, and I don't mind so much.

Work has been very hyper because our department is reorganizing and we're all moving to different desks (this will be desk number 13 for me in the nine and a half years I've been at this workplace!). People started packing a few days ago. Not me. I don't have much stuff. I started at about 1:30 or 2 today. Our department was closing at 3, and then there was a happy hour which our boss hoped Everyone Would Go To. I went to the gym around 2:30, then headed back up to my cubicle, picked up my bags and headed home, happily listening to Jonathan Edwards all the way.

Labels: school, work

posted by Miss Rachel 10/05/2007 07:12:00 AM

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Although I had filled out the application for the Library Assistant job I mentioned last week, I still hadn't sent it out yet. Today, I decided getting that done was more important than going to the gym. So this afternoon I went and bought a 9 x 12 envelope so I could lay it flat, and then I went to the Post Office sent it off. If this is anything like the other library jobs I've applied for, I need to keep my expectations low. There's a good chance I won't hear a damn thing. But it's good to keep trying, right?

Tomorrow, it's back to the gym. Yesterday, I had another Fabulous Fitness Feat: I ran for a whole 6 minutes. Not all at once, but in three two-minute intervals. This is twice as much as what I had been doing when I started running intervals on the treadmill a couple months ago. My goal is to keep gradually increasing it until I can run for 5 minutes straight and then 10 minutes straight. After that, I'm not sure.

Labels: physical fitness, work

posted by Miss Rachel 5/09/2007 05:31:00 PM

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Yesterday I started feeling really LOW again. My boss came over to my desk to complain about something a manager did which of course didn't help. FWIW, I just tried not to get involved, and turn back to my work. Although I didn't have much work to do which of course didn't help. So I ended up applying for another job. A library job. I filled out the app and printed it out. And then I typed up a cover letter and printed it out. Yes, on the work computer. I have to mail it today.

GG was back from vac, and he and I reconnected. I told him about my loss of respect for my boss (who is also his boss) and he told me he wasn't surprised to hear it, and that he shares my feelings. I was joined by K, another coworker, who also agreed. Our boss is nice, but he's wishy washy. He complains, but he doesn't do anything to change the things he's complaining about. And I know people have limited power, but still, it's not that limited if you at least try to take some responsibility. And if you're not going to take any responsibility, shut up already with the complaining, especially to people you're supposed to be managing!

Anyway, I started feeling a little better, and then around 4 PM, I went down to the gym and did 20 minutes on the bike. Then I got on the treadmill and walked on an incline for a few minutes, then turned down the incline and ran for 2, then walked on incline some more, then ran for two minutes again, then walked again, and then ran again. That made a total of 40 minutes of cardio, 5 of it running. It was my first cardio workout since last week so it was good to see I could do it. I definitely felt better after that.

Labels: physical fitness, work

posted by Miss Rachel 5/03/2007 06:42:00 AM

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I came home feeling low last night. My boss is nice, but he's gotten really negative lately. A lot of additional responsibilities have been heaped on him by upper management, and he's not happy about it so he's always complaining to me lately and making sarcastic little jokes about upper management. But he's not standing up for himself or me about decisions that are being made about my job, just being wishy washy. I have really started to lose respect for him. I can be feeling all right, and I then I meet with him, and I start to feel bad. I've started to avoid him, and I've decided I'm going to tell him that I don't want to meet with him anymore if he's just going to be negative. I mean, I don't think it's his job to be all cheery, but the least he could do is not wallow in negatvity.

Sometimes it's so hard stay positive, and I felt myself teetering on the abyss last night, ready to fall deep into the blues. But I ended up giving myself a little pep talk as I stood out on the deck, smoking a butt. I basically said, "You're not going to give up on yourself. You've come too far for that. Don't let people get you down. You're working towards a degree in a field that interests you, and it's difficult, but you can do it, and you know you're doing the right thing." It's hard, but I know I can persevere.

Labels: the blues, work

posted by Miss Rachel 4/28/2007 08:45:00 AM

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Dumb!!!

Remember I mentioned this woman at work who acts really helpless and asks really stupid questions and doesn't seem to care how dumb she sounds? When I came back to work on Wednesday, GG was on vacation, but he had sent me an e-mail detailing the following conversation:

GG: So, Linda, did you hear that Boris Yeltsin died?
Linda: Who?
GG: Boris Yeltsin.
Linda: Who's that?

long pause

GG: He's a new underwriter.

Labels: work

posted by Miss Rachel 4/26/2007 06:12:00 PM

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The Boyfriend

I am so sick of hearing the guy who sits over the cubicle wall from me on the phone with his girlfriend. I have barely spoken with this guy (just an occasional "hi" at the printer and such), but I know so much about his personal life from overhearing his phone calls. I know: his girlfriend's name, that she has a daughter, her daughter's name, that she works on Friday and Saturday nights (which is why they couldn't get together then for his birthday), that she's in school, and now I think she's planning a graduation party for herself. He also had an argument with his mother when she said his whole life revolved around his girlfriend. He was on the phone to a friend about it saying he wished he was back in Montana or someplace when he didn't have to deal with this kind of thing. And let's not forget the whole ring incident. Evidently he bought her a ring and the stone fell out, and it was fixed and then the stone fell out again. And today I heard that his friends said his girlfriend is hot, and he agrees! I don't know if she's really needy or if he just treats her as if she is because he always takes on this coaxing, "shmoopy" tone with her even when they're talking about the most mundane things.

I guess he's nice enough, but I'm kind of getting a pukey feeling from having to hear this all the time. He's not a young kid either; he's 34. Sweetie and I talk on the phone occasionally, but we usually keep it pretty surface-level and also brief. That's another thing: this guy's phone calls to his girlfriend go on for like 10 minutes at a time, and sometimes more than once a day. That's one thing if you're at home, but at work it seems a bit much. And I know this is not a big problem or even a problem at all, but it is fun to complain about. I kind of have fun adding up all the things I know about him now even though I've hardly exchanged any words with him. My nickname for him (in my head) is The Boyfriend.

Labels: work

posted by Miss Rachel 4/12/2007 06:20:00 PM

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Miss Rachel Approximately

Doing better. So far this week... I met a librarian at a party on Sunday and she agreed that I could interview her for my catatloging paper; I've worked out three times and have been eating less; I read a chapter in my textbook (this may not seem like much, but for this textbook, it is); I gave a presentation of sorts to some visitors from the home office at work today and handled questions as if I actually knew what I was talking about; I got them all to laugh a fair amount too and one of the people said that the presentation was both informative and enjoyable. Boy, that was a great feeling. And I bought Highway 61 Revisited on Sunday and have been listening to it a bit. Some of you might have guessed that from the title of this post.

Labels: fitness, listening, school, work

posted by Miss Rachel 3/28/2007 08:29:00 PM

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Stuff from My Day

One person can really change the dynamics of a group. This one person from my old "team" at work has left and now, without her there, being possessive of the other coworkers, and hence divisive, I'm realizing how some of them are actually quite nice. I had a good little chat with two of them today. I went over to talk about work, but we ended up talking about haunted houses and ghosts.

I haven't been in the mood for music much lately, but today I tried a little on my way home. I have my iPod Nano hooked up to my car stereo. I got through "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" by Gladys Knight and "Use ta be My Girl" by the O'Jays on my Soul Mix and then I ended up skipping alphabetically through artists and listened to "Coming into Los Angeles" by Arlo Guthrie, "Can't Find My Way Home" by Blind Faith and "Everything I've Got" by Blossom Dearie.

I have no motivation to do anything but lie on the couch tonight. And eat chocolate. So I think that's what I'm going to do.

Labels: life at home, the blues, work

posted by Miss Rachel 3/08/2007 07:53:00 PM

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Remember how I said I didn't think I was ready for 10 pound dumbbells after I spent nearly a week unable to fully straighten my arms after using them? Well, things change because when I did my second weights workout of the week last Thursday, I felt that maybe it was getting too easy. So yesterday, on my first set of bicep curls and hammer curls, I used 10 pound dumbbells instead 8 pound ones. Today I am sore, but not in any way crippled as I was before. I must be getting stronger!

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This working later thing is, as my grandmother would say, for the birds. There were NO calls or e-mails after 5 on Monday night and after 6, the lights went off! Now I know that there is some code you can dial into your phone to have them turned back on, and I can find out what it is, but I didn't know it then, and so I was sitting in the dark. There were some lights on elsewhere on the floor and there were a few other coworkers there so it wasn't scary or anything. If it had gone completely dark and no one was there, I would have just gone home. Instead I chatted with the other people who all seemed to agree with me how ridiculous it was for me to stay late.

I talked to my boss about it, and he said why don't I just do it again Wednesday (today) and then not anymore. As I had mentioned before no one (except him) had seemed to notice that I hadn't been working the later schedule, and he doesn't care so hopefully, I can just bag it all together.

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Tomorrow, March 8, is my dad's birthday. Had he lived he would be turning 78. Boy, that really makes him sound like a grandpa, but then of course, he was a grandpa. Although he officially died January 1, 2006, I truly feel he died long before that because he had Alzheimer's. We did battle over the years, but I do still have good memories of him, and I try to hold on to those. He had a good sense of humor and we used to get really silly together (something my sister and I still do).

Labels: family, fitness, work

posted by Miss Rachel 3/07/2007 07:55:00 AM

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One of the things about my new job is that "they" like someone to work until 7 PM to answer requests that come in from the west coast. Since I started a couple of weeks ago, I haven't stayed late once and no one seemed to notice. My boss hadn't said anything, but I suggested that I would try doing the later (10:30 to 7) schedule on Monday and Wednesday this week and he said all right. I made it clear I don't want to do it more than that. The schedule was part of the bullsh** deal that was never discussed when the job was offered to me and just assumed I would do.

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School is going all right. I'm not that crazy about my class this semester. The subject matter is very dry, and I don't feel engaged with it, but I'm hoping to I will eventually. I took Friday afternoon off to do my homework, some very technical catalonging coding stuff called MARC. No homework was assigned for this coming week, except for reading so I'm feeling pretty relaxed for now. I do like the teacher and she does a good job of getting us involved in class, but the some of the stuff is just pretty dry, and there's not much that can be done about it.

Week after next is spring break, and dude, I'm gonna get so wasted, and it's gonna be totally awesome!!! Yeah, right. I never even did "spring break" when I was in undergrad in the 80s. I am going to take an extra day or two off though, and take Blue and go up and visit my mom and sister that weekend. I hate shopping alone, but I do like shopping with them, and I need some shoes so a shopping trip is on the agenda for the weekend. How girly, huh?

********************

I went to yoga class yesterday morning. I know that being critical of and comparing onself to others is totally not a yogic way of thinking, but... do you ever do this? I feel bad about it, but I do find myself my doing it anyway. I especially get annoyed with the people who do the hardest form of a pose, when the teacher doesn't suggest it. I feel like they're showing off, and it bothers me. I mentioned this to my sister, and she said that once she was in a class and everyone was struggling to learn how to do a split and no one could really do it, except this one woman, and she was sitting there looking all bored while the rest of them struggled.

I never had this feeling in the kundalini classes I used to take in a church basement, but now that I am going to an actual "yoga studio" I find myself getting irritated with some of the "glam" people who go there. Like sometimes there's this woman who wears really sexy clothes and sets up in the middle of the room and not only does the most advanced form of poses, but does completley different poses from the ones that are being taught. Huh? I just feel that's showing off. I mean if you're not going to follow the class AND you plunk yourself right in the middle of it, you must be showing off. I know my response has to do with my insecurity, but I can't help feeling really annoyed with this woman. Fortunately, she wasn't in class yesterday.

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Watching: Fight Club (1999) starring Edward Norton, Brad Pitt and Helena Bonham Carter. I wasn't too keen on seeing this, but after I found out it was based on more of a "therapy" idea, as opposed to just fighting, I watched some of it with Sweetie. I did find the violence a little too much, and I covered my eyes during parts of it, and even left the room sometimes, but it was kind of interesting. Sweetie said he felt it was getting to be one of those movies he "had" to see because he was always reading references to it. I'm guessing especially on those geeky Mac message boards he visits.

Labels: family, school, watching, work, yoga

posted by Miss Rachel 3/05/2007 08:22:00 AM

. . .

I called the library staffing company yesterday and had a nice little chat with the woman who answered the phone. I continue to be surprised whenever I call a business and a person actually answers the phone, and then, as in this case, doesn't transfer me elsewhere. I understand the need for automated phone systems and voice mail, but it's still somewhat thrilling nowadays to get a live person.

Anyway, we had a good conversation. It wasn't altogether encouraging, but it wasn't discouraging either. I need to e-mail them my resume and a cover letter, which I will do today. Yes, that means I'll do it at work. I'll send it from my yahoo e-mail address of course. But I will type up the letter at work. I feel I need to get it done quickly while my conversation is a recent memory.

I still haven't finished my homework for class tomorrow. I plan to work on it a bit tonight and then head up to school early and finish it tomorrow morning. I may be kidding myself, but I think once I have my new desk set up, it will be easier to work. I hope the desk is spacious enough. The boxes are looking kind of small. The assembly people are scheduled to come on Tuesday if I can get the afternoon off.

Labels: library science, school, work

posted by Miss Rachel 2/23/2007 06:47:00 AM

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A Slight Break in the Clouds

I'm feeling a little better.

I went and did weights on Tuesday and it was good. I had skipped weights last week, and just done one cardio workout; just getting though the week was an accomplishment. I am sore, but not unable to straighten my arms like after the first time doing the new strength program. I just don't think I'm ready for 10 lb dumbbells on bicep curls yet (which is what the trainer had me do that time); those are what really messed me up.

A little more comfortable with my new job. Yesterday, I bookmarked a library staffing site on my computer at work. I haven't contacted them yet; that's next. It's a start.

Labels: fitness, the blues, work

posted by Miss Rachel 2/22/2007 06:39:00 AM

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I realized that what was making me feel like utter shit about work was that it was awful in two ways: 1) I was not getting a raise and 2) I put myself out there by asking about it, making myself vulnerable and then got shot down. I think the branch manager just assumed that I would quietly take the job and be too chicken to ask questions about the salary if she didn't say anything about it. If I hadn't asked, it would never have been communicated. Fast forward to yesterday afternoon when my new boss (the really nice guy) calls me and asks me to stop in. He tells me that on Thursday night, the branch manager stopped by his office and SAID SHE FELT BAD about what happened. The upshot is, my boss was approved to give me a raise and I'm getting a 4.8% (!!!) raise, in addition to the $1,000 spot bonus he already agreed to give me. So I didn't put myself out there for nothing.

Labels: work

posted by Miss Rachel 2/14/2007 09:43:00 AM

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Three words regarding my new job...

... bait and switch. Now they're saying it's not a promotion and I'm not getting raise. Not my boss or even my new boss to be; the big boss - the local branch manager - said this. What is it about branch managers? Now that the Evil Branch Manager from DC has given up her crown by thanking me for my work and sending me a gift, maybe the local branch manager wants to win the crown herself.

My current boss is still giving me a merit increase (it's review time) for my work the past year and my boss to be is taking money out of his budget to give me a $1,000 bonus. It's nice that he's doing that, and I appreciate it, but he's doing because he feels I should get something and I'm not getting a promotion, at least he can give me that. Oh, and my boss to be is a REALLY nice guy so despite the fact that he doesn't have much power, at least he's decent to work for. Like, he's the type you can criticize the branch manager to and the type who "forgets" to put down that you took a vacation day.

So it's just more of the same bullshit that I've seen in my company before. I'm going to call that place (with the corporate library job) that I applied to the other day, just to say hi and make sure they got my resume. Maybe to say, "I'm really interested in learning more about your organization" which is true. But... no expectations. Just giving it a shot and hanging in there.

Labels: work

posted by Miss Rachel 2/09/2007 07:21:00 AM

. . .

More Work Stuff

(Sorry if tales of my life as a tiny cog in the corporate wheel are boring, but I just need to get this stuff out sometimes.)

I had a shocking experience at work today. The mail clerk came by delivering packages as he does, and he had one for me. It's not unusual for me to get a package, but they usually contain boring things like insurance applications and company financial statements. But today it was a box from a "gift company." I opened it and looked at the little invoice in it, and it was from... The Evil Branch Manager!!! No kidding. The note said, "Thank you for all your hard work and best of luck in your new position." I said, "Knock me over with a feather!" It was a little paperweight kind of thing with a four leafed clover in glass, you know, a dust collecting tchotchke, but I was really pleased that the Evil Branch Manager actually did something nice for once. Wow.

Regarding my new job: I move to a new cubicle tomorrow. And I don't really know anything else. There has been a tremendous lack of communication about the whole thing, and it's gotten me really angry so today I went and had it out with the HR manager. Fortunately, I didn't go off or anything, but I did make my feelings known, and she apologized and said that the reason for this was that our branch manager is involved and she has been out of the office. Of course, I also discussed that there should be someone else I could speak with when the manager's not around. I mean, the whole thing has been handled very irregularly. So anyway, the branch manager is going to be back tomorrow and I have a meeting with her. I hope it goes well. I just want a little money. At least I have a new paperweight.

In other career news, I sent a cover letter and resume for a corporate library assistant job I saw on a website. The listing said it required an MLS or equivalent experience, but I applied anyway. They were hiring for a non-MLS position a few months ago so I figure it won't hurt for them to keep my resume on file if something like that comes up again. I know I'll probably just get a kiss-off letter and never hear from them or get no letter and never hear from them, but it's good to keep trying, right?

Labels: library science, work

posted by Miss Rachel 2/07/2007 05:58:00 PM

. . .

Umm, snow? Where are you snow? Here... boy. Well, it did snow, and I actually saw it because I woke up coughing (night time / mouth breathing / dry throat kind of thing) at 11:30 and was worried that I had not turned down the thermostat so I went downstairs to check it. The thermostat was down where it should be (no higher than 60), and through the windows on the front door I could see snow dancing through the air in the glow of the streetlight. But alas, this morning, there was hardly anything to show for it. I mean, less than a dusting, if that's possible. Oh well, we're supposed to get some more on Thursday night.

********************

We do a lot of talking on the late shift. The deal is two people sit at a collaborative table and log in to computers there and then all the phones are fed in to two phones there and you answer them. That way if anyone on the west coast calls, they'll still get a live person until 7 PM EST. You don't get a lot of calls so you can still get plenty of work done and then you can also chat with your coworker.

Tonight the girl I was working with told me she had given her resignation that day. I knew she was making plans: there were lots of hints and overheard whispers, but now it's official. She claims it's always been her dream to live in NYC, but I think it's mostly because she's dating someone whp lives there now. I mean, a few years ago, she was looking to move to Charlotte, NC and a year after that, she bought a condo in CT and said she wasn't planning on moving. Anyway she's moving to New York and she got a job at a competitor and will have her own office and assistant (!). I'm happy for her. She wanted it, she works hard and she deserves it.

But it's not what I want. I would think it would be great to move to New York to work at a library or museum or something! I just don't want to change jobs and stay in insurance. I told her about my dilemma with the school job and how I sort of hoped I didn't get it. Then I checked my e-mail and I found I was rejected! I was both relieved and insulted. Not really insulted, but you know how rejection always hurts even when it's from something you don't want that badly. So I told my coworker, "Looks like my wish came true. I didn't get the job."

She was nice about it (especially when I told her the job was 40 miles away!). I told her that I had promised myself I could buy a new workout top (something I don't really need, but just want) from one of my favorite catalogs (Athleta) if I didn't get the job so now I'm all excited to do that. And I started thinking about all the expenses I have to deal with and feeling more and more relieved. I'm just going to work hard and keep my eyes open and eventually I will get a job in my field, even if it's not until I actually have my MLS.

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Now that I have the new version Blogger, I can use labels for my posts, and I was wondering if I should have one called "fat." But I try to stay away from self deprecation and I know I'm not "fat" exactly, just overweight (BMI of 26.5). I've been overeating lately and I just "feel fat." "Feeling fat" means feeling bad about my eating and my size. But I don't know about having fat or even feeling fat as a label because I'm really against giving in to negativity. Hmm...

I'm sounding pretty positive here, but even with the fat thing aside, I'm facing those Dark Thoughts. Why am I here? What is the point? We're all just going to die. I mean I really think the only reason I'm here is because I happened to be born. I don't have any kind of mission in life and I don't believe in that "we're all here for a reason" crap. Some time during the last year, I bought the book If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him! after my therapist mentioned it. I guess now would be a good time to start reading it.

Labels: blogging, library science, the blues, work

posted by Miss Rachel 1/31/2007 08:14:00 PM

. . .

It's going to snow tonight and I'm so excited about it even though it's supposed to mostly happen after midnight when I won't be able to see it. And it's not as if I'll have a "snow day" as I would when I was a kid. I'll still have to go to work tomorrow. I'm working late shift again this week, and although it was my choice and it'll be nice to have Friday off, working till 7 is getting a bit old.

Still no word on the school job, and I've actually gotten to the point where I hope I don't get it because I'd prefer not to turn it down. However, I just don't think I'd be able to stand the stress of having to deal with the pay cut and having to find a second job. Mostly I just think the pay cut would be too severe (even with two jobs), and I don't want to live with the stress of struggling to get by. I've done it before and it SUCKS, people. And I'm not talking about just not eating out at restaurants or not buying any clothes, I'm talking food stamps and not having enough money to get my car fixed and running low on toilet paper kind of struggling. Yikes, just typing that brings me back and scares the hell out of me.

In other news, I went to the gym today and totally rocked! I did a 40 minute elliptical workout on Sunday, but couldn't convince myself to go to the gym yesterday and was not feeling much like going today AT ALL. As I walked to the elevator, I was thinking "I don't want to do this" and as I changed into my workout clothes, I was thinking, "I don't want to do this" but I kept going and made it through my whole strength training program and just felt so great afterward.

Reading: Inside Edge by Christine Brennan. I finished this yesterday and really enjoyed it because I am a skating fan. I read some stuff about Brennan's second skating book and apparently she really does a number on people she doesn't like, but I thought this book was pretty balanced. And just plain interesting.

Watching: Battlestar Galactica, Season 2. Still loving this.
The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Season Four. And this of course. :-)

Labels: fitness, work

posted by Miss Rachel 1/30/2007 09:22:00 PM

. . .

So far so good on the new Blogger. I figured since they were "out of beta" and I wasn't having trouble posting comments on others' blogs anymore AND because I read in someone's blog that the new Blogger was "very Safari friendly" I could take the plunge. Sweetie said he thinks it's a good thing that the Google CEO is on the board at Apple. I hope he's right, although I said, "it didn't work with Mr. Potter" (that's an It's a Wonderful Life reference).

So now I will able to label my posts. Of course you know what some of my labels will be - dogs, cats, fitness, school, work, blogging... but I'm sure I'll come up with more interesting ones as time goes by. Maybe I should make them more detailed such as Australian Shepherd, Tabby cat, weight training, elliptical training, library school, and... work. For now, work is still work. Not that that's anything to be ashamed of.

That's right, no word on the job at school yet, but the more time that passes, I figure the slimmer my chances get. Because they will tell the person they select first, right ? and then make sure he or she accepts it before telling the people they didn't select. Of course, I'm really worried about the money aspect if I do get it because I'll have to get a second job right away and then most likely still do some major spending cuts. And then there's the health insurance aspect. COBRA costs an arm and a leg... So it might be for the best if I DON'T get this job. Yeah, getting away from Corporate America is good, but I would have to have some things clearly in place before I could accept this job. For one, I have an idea that I may still be able to work at my current company part time because of this new venture that they're doing. That could be a good thing.

Which brings me to this... you know that I internal job I applied for? Well, I got it. I found out late on Thursday when the HR manager (aka Loretta Swit, that's who GG says she looks like and he's right) came up to tell me because she found out I was going to be out the next day. So I'm glad because I will be getting away from some of the things I don't like about my current job - the Evil Branch Manager and the clique-y aspect of my some of my team to name two. Salary, work load and transition process have still not been discussed. Weird, I know, but I'm not looking for a future in insurance. My reason for applying for this postion was mostly to get away from the clique (which I am NOT a part of, in case you were wondering).

Labels: blogging, work

posted by Miss Rachel 1/28/2007 08:08:00 AM

. . .